


Dear Sherlock: The First 30 Times I Loved You The Most

by wendymarlowe



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Parent!lock, S4 fix-it fic, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-19
Updated: 2017-01-19
Packaged: 2018-09-18 12:49:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9385955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wendymarlowe/pseuds/wendymarlowe
Summary: Written because I have some serious feels about the end of S4.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Čeština available: [Milý Sherlocku: Prvních 30 okamžiků, kdy jsem tě nejvíce miloval](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9828842) by [LilyElfgreen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyElfgreen/pseuds/LilyElfgreen), [TessHoneyBee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TessHoneyBee/pseuds/TessHoneyBee)



Dear Sherlock,

**The first 30 times I loved you most:**

1 When I first saw your face at the pool and you looked at me the same way I felt about you

2 When I asked you to be my best man because you were my best friend and you were totally without words

3 When you gave that heartbreaking speech at my wedding to Mary and I realized I’d been so blind but still thought it was too late

4 When it finally hit me you’d been distant because you loved me so much you’d rather I be happy with Mary than unhappily torn between you both (this still blows me away sometimes)

5 When Rosie was born and I realized I _needed_ you there with me, to experience that with me

6 When Mary was shot and I was a total arse about everything, and you just . . . let me. Even though I literally punched you. And then you went to hell and back - again - to keep me safe.

7 When you took me back in with you at 221B, no questions asked

8 When Rosie had her first fever and I was out of my mind with panic, and you calmed us both down. And then rocked her for hours until she stopped hiccuping and I could finally sleep.

9 The time I had that really bad nightmare, shortly after moving back into Baker Street, and you came upstairs and sat on the other side of the bed like we were in the Army and you were on watch because you knew it would help me settle back down

10 The one after that, when I spent an hour sobbing into your lap and you stroked my hair and sang to Rosie for me

11 Seeing you and Rosie both on the floor in the sitting room, when you were trying to teach her to roll over and you demonstrated it by rolling into the leg of the armchair so hard you bruised your forehead but we both got to hear her first laugh

12 When I caught you with that giant stack of Andrew Lang’s fairy books and you were trying to memorize them all so you could tell Rosie a different fairy tale every night before bed, even though you literally had no idea which ones everybody knew and which were totally unheard-of and made no sense

13 The first time you kissed me, when I went to stand up afterward and I was still so dazed I went arse over teakettle onto the coffee table

14 When you fell asleep while rocking Rosie and the two of you were both passed out and snoring with your heads back and your mouths open and you looked so adorable I almost cried

15 When you mixed and tasted all those hundreds of flavors and brands of baby food yourself, in hopes of creating the perfect balanced meal even though Rosie was barely onto solid food yet

16 The first time you slept next to me upstairs, when you were so exhausted you didn’t even get all the way out of your suit before you fell asleep but you were curled up around me like an octopus by morning anyway

17 The second, third, and fourth times you slept next to me and stayed the whole night because you noticed I sleep better when you’re there

18 That time Rosie spit up all down the back of your dressing gown and you froze in the middle of the sitting room with that shocked look on your face, when you realized the post-bottle burping is for a very good reason

19 When you solved the Lockwood case in - literally - less than two minutes because you felt bad I was at home with Rosie and couldn’t come with you

20 When you cooked that six-course dinner just for us, because you deduced I’d have missed lunch at the surgery that day. And then you ate every course with me.

21 The weekend we left Rosie with Mrs. Hudson and went to Devon. (The whole thing, really, but especially the first time we actually had sex.)

22 Related - the first time since the Fall you let me see your scars, and I realized every single one was proof of how much you loved me even before I’d ever said “I love you” back

23 The time you watched an entire Bond marathon with me and didn’t complain once and I _know_ it wasn’t because you like "inane" movies

24 When I got the news about Harry and you just held me for hours and we didn’t have to talk because you already knew what I was thinking and feeling

25 When Rosie was first teething and you composed a whole set of new violin etudes for her, one in every key, so she wouldn’t get bored even though she couldn’t sleep 

26 The time I got caught in the rain on the way home from work and you practically pounced on me as soon as I walked in the door. It was the first time you’d ever given me one of those _amazing_ back massages and coincidentally the first time I ever got to taste you when you came.

27 The way you worked and worked with Rosie in secret so her first word would be “deduce,” even though it came out “Daduh-ssss!” and you were both _so proud_ to surprise me (and I’ll never forget the look on Greg’s face when he heard it)

28 The look on _your_ face when “deduce” turned into “Dada S” and you realized Rosie considers you her other father

29 When I proposed to you on the anniversary of your return from the Fall - the anniversary of the biggest mistake of my life, not grabbing you and holding onto you the way you deserved - and you teared up just as much as I did

30 Every single time your eyes light up for me and Rosie the way they only used to do for cases, and I know what we both mean to you. 

I love you, Sherlock. So much. Forever and always. I say this is "the first thirty times I loved you the most" because I know there will be thirty more and thirty more and thirty thousand more. I love you.

Love,

John


End file.
